Bro Code Part 3 :Breaking the bond

Peter wanjala is a testimony of a broken bro code. “I was always doing something stupid because my friends were doing it”, he tells me, and “I would leave food on the table to go help a bro dump his girlfriend” he laughs. That is not funny, it is very annoying. 

Mr. Wanjala would even cancel his family picnic to go watch a game with his friends. His family lost meaning in a nick of time. “Jessica wanjala is the most understanding wife” peter say “she always made sure that the children did not notice a rift” adds the father of three, “she introduced me to Dr. Wahudu and has given me emotional support throughout, I look back and realize how strong she has been in order to save our marriage.”

Jessica tells me that you do not change your man by...

“Do Men Gossip?” Bro Code Part 2

Research has proven that this kind of attachment is stronger than the bond between a man and a woman. The rule of the thumb is bros first, wives and girlfriends come second. 

The bro will always be the first. This can be very dangerous and can lead to the breaking of a marriage. Psychologists warn that for any marriage to survive this kind of attachments, the partners have to be very understanding.

The Bro code starts as an innocent friendship but grows as bond so strong. Many marriages today are breaking as a result of this bond. Susan kanyingi is bitter not because of her divorce, but because her husband best friend and best man during their wedding was the main reason her marriage failed.  Her marriage to Adam Maina suffered a big blow when Anthony kahuhia, who was also her colleague at work, would tell her husband on her every move. Soon quarrels would crops up on petty issues like her dressing code and choice of friends. On realizing the root of her problems, she asked her husband to choose between his family or friends. Unfortunately he chose the latter. The magnitude of this encounter was too much on her. She opted for...

THE BRO CODE

On this cool afternoon, I walk to steers on Wabera Street to meet two men, I knew since they were small boys. We went to school together and parted ways but as they tell me the bro code has always kept them intact. 

I used to query if men can be this close? I used to ask what they would be talking about. The word ‘bro’ only rung when it i would be referring to my brother, same friends at the club or at the Gym. After meeting Joe mwangi and Steven Maingi I was not only amazed but also perplexed. The bro code really existed and it is here to stay.

According to Joe Mwangi the bro code is more than friendship. “This is a set of rules that...

How to avoid toxic relationships part 2

Mrs. Pauline Wairimu, a psychologist and psychiatrist says that your life will be unpleasant when you are around toxic people.  You are the only one who can do anything about it. You can gather yourself and walk out of a toxic relationship by;

Make a list of the Positive Aspects of the person. This technique helps you to shift your focus. If all you only focus on their negative aspects, then they will be like this whenever they are around you.

Get perspective by working with a neutral person, who has no agenda about you and the relationship with the other person - maybe a counsellor, a coach, a neighbor or a co-worker. The key here is that this isn't about creating for yourself a pity party, and/or looking to dump on the other person. This is about asking the other person to help you focus on what is going on, the part you have played and what you are willing to do to move forward. 

Take Responsibility-A part of you is allowing the behaviors to happen ...

Only in Kenya: Lexicons that bind us… oh! My Miguna?

Tokelezea (come out) has been there for a while. This is a Kenyan day to day plug and play App. Lexicons are just vocabularies belonging to a branch of some knowledge, only known to somebody or a group of people.

High school teachers are having hard time marking the LOL compositions, harder if they don’t know the face of facebook. Back to where this story ilitokelezea. The entertainment industry has been the biggest source of lexicons in this part of the Sahara. That’s why maswali ya polisi (police Questions) was becoming a threat to tokelezea.

Why then was it. ‘Miguna’ is the reason. As Miguna Miguna was pealing his masks, ‘miguna’ the lexi tokelezead. Just the other day, Mwalimu King’ang’i was talking of fake televisions set on classic Fm. This sets show Jeff Koinange and Miguna, Gunad in the middle. Today in a matatu I hear, ’ebu jigune vizuri mtoshe’(squeeze so that you may fit) like seriously?

Tell someone one a secret, this will be the condition...

TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS

In the society today toxic relationships have been redefined. A decade ago toxic relationship would mean friends that would teach you either to drink alcohol, sneak from home or start stealing. The truth is toxic friendship is any relationship that changes the behavior of an individual from being morally upright to being unethical, depending on morals standards that that person once had

According to Mrs. Pauline Wairimu a trained psychiatrists nurse and psychologist, toxic relationship starts of as mutual friendships. Having that friend you can tell everything. Someone you can trust with your life. In normal circumstances this talks that you share may seem normal until the influence is overwhelming no one see’s fault in little hate speeches. 

Other people don’t matter just be you.

The whole universe acknowledges that you are unique. Praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made Psalm 139:14. When you ask yourself “whom am I?” just say I am me, me and the team of I. 

Are you uncertain about your personality status? Just do the self-esteem check up. Evaluate yourself and take a brief preview on your values. Find if your standards measure then, be you. Finding yourself is as easy as one, two, and three.  

Just be honest and open we’re all imperfect, growing, learning human beings. Relax Stop worrying about the worst that could happen, especially in social situations. So what if you fall flat on your face? Or get spinach stuck in your teeth? Or accidentally head butt your date when leaning in for a kiss? Learn to laugh at yourself both when it happens and afterward. Turn it into a funny story that you can share with others. It lets them know that you're not perfect and makes you feel more at ease, too. It's also an attractive quality for someone to be able to laugh at themselves and not take themselves too seriously!

Treat yourself as you'd treat your own best friend, love and accept yourself as you are now, just as you do for your close ones. Be responsible for yourself and for boosting your self-esteem. If others aren't...

Moving on…

Many a times we are usually stuck in our past. We try to move and overcome but end up moving in cycles. one thing my dear just move on. 

Oscar Wilde once said with his usual wit: Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. Build your own paradise, just imagine it and make it a reality. Dwelling on your past doesn't help, avoid fixating on the past but rather move on. Allow yourself this space to grow, to improve, to become wiser. Allow yourself to forgive past errors and past behaviors you're not so proud of.

 

 Work on accepting mistakes and choices you've made; they're done and in the past. You had your reasons for them and the decision made sense at the time, so instead of harnessing yourself to past...

JUST PURPOSE

Are there those days you work because you have no option? Do exams because they have been paid for? Or just ask yourself...What am i doing?

You will always ask yourself baseless questions if you do not have life objectives. Each morning when you wake up, just purpose to be productive. Do not just exist among your peers but always be the most useful person. Being positive about life in general is the greatest step towards being productive. Positive minds are always objective minds.

show me your friends and i will tell you whom you are...cliche? yes! But the bible also says bad company corrodes good morals. So if you swing with the yeah! yeah! yapiee hippie unproductive crew they will lower you to their level. A word is enough for the wise so...

Be Happy Always

Always be happy, don’t give the devil that mille-second to steal the joy from you. Even papa the most high tells us “rejoice in the lord always; and again I say, rejoice (Philippians 4:4)

One thing I know for sure is that God is always faithful. He lets us go through trials so that we can learn from them. Can you imagine life without tribulations? If Christ went through them I am more that honored to have same. God will never let us go through tough situations that we can’t handle. That is way I can always afford that smile.

The beginning of this year was so tough for me. I would have lapsed into depression, stressing myself with people who care the most only when there are same benefits. I miss Maureen(my cousin) so much. I remember together we were at West Indies, Eldoret alone for same time after the post election violence. She would never let me sleep hungry. I guess my mama ...