“Do Men Gossip?” Bro Code Part 2

Research has proven that this kind of attachment is stronger than the bond between a man and a woman. The rule of the thumb is bros first, wives and girlfriends come second. 

The bro will always be the first. This can be very dangerous and can lead to the breaking of a marriage. Psychologists warn that for any marriage to survive this kind of attachments, the partners have to be very understanding.

The Bro code starts as an innocent friendship but grows as bond so strong. Many marriages today are breaking as a result of this bond. Susan kanyingi is bitter not because of her divorce, but because her husband best friend and best man during their wedding was the main reason her marriage failed.  Her marriage to Adam Maina suffered a big blow when Anthony kahuhia, who was also her colleague at work, would tell her husband on her every move. Soon quarrels would crops up on petty issues like her dressing code and choice of friends. On realizing the root of her problems, she asked her husband to choose between his family or friends. Unfortunately he chose the latter. The magnitude of this encounter was too much on her. She opted for...

a divorce since she was tired of playing second fiddle.

 Talking to him over the phone, gives me a clear picture why his marriage failed. “my friends would never lie to me” he starts, “Anthony was always telling me that my wife was in wrong company, I tried to drive same sense into her but she would end up being offensive. She even tried to make me chose between my friends and her. That will never happen no woman ever comes between brothers.” He finishes with a tone of finality.

At this point I am left wondering can such bonds be stronger than family values. Marriage counselors ascertain that this bonds are psychological and very dangerous they are equivalent to oaths and vows. Violating them has its own consequences. He says that the moment a man decides to settle he should break such bonds, failure to do so will course a recur in reverse. This can be seen in Adam’s and Susan’s divorce case.

Men who fear heart break will always cling to fellow men for moral support says Dr. Patrick Wahudu a psychologist. But when they are confident in their own decisions you will never get them gossip about their wives at the bar. They will always have a drink and head home. He also says that breaking such bonds needs professional psychological counseling. It may take same time but with a loving family many men have broken loose of the bro code.