How to avoid toxic relationships part 2

Mrs. Pauline Wairimu, a psychologist and psychiatrist says that your life will be unpleasant when you are around toxic people.  You are the only one who can do anything about it. You can gather yourself and walk out of a toxic relationship by;

Make a list of the Positive Aspects of the person. This technique helps you to shift your focus. If all you only focus on their negative aspects, then they will be like this whenever they are around you.

Get perspective by working with a neutral person, who has no agenda about you and the relationship with the other person - maybe a counsellor, a coach, a neighbor or a co-worker. The key here is that this isn't about creating for yourself a pity party, and/or looking to dump on the other person. This is about asking the other person to help you focus on what is going on, the part you have played and what you are willing to do to move forward. 

Take Responsibility-A part of you is allowing the behaviors to happen ...

and continue to happen. Ask yourself why am I allowing this to happen? What could I be learning from this?

 

Set Boundaries- Let the other person know what they can and cannot do around you. If you have the skills, such as those from the Successful Conversations workshop, you will be able to describe quite specifically what the person is doing and what your expectations are for the future. (You can even do this with someone who seemingly is in the more powerful position e.g. a boss)

Keep Working on you and improving your mindset and emotional capability. The book Anatomy of Peace is a terrific book to help you view situations like this from a very different and freeing perspective. 

End the Relationship If after trying all of the above and nothing changes then it is time you walked away from the relationship. 

You may be thinking it's not that easy! I can't walk away from my job. However, if the relationship really does have all the characteristics of a toxic relationship and you have accepted responsibility for your part and exhausted all avenues of moving it into something more healthy, then you need to ask yourself what do you value most - financial security or mental, emotional and spiritual health? After making your decision you will walk out of a toxic relationship and be happy again.